I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
