Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
