UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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