You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
