There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
