So drunk its hurt
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
