i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
