If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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