I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
