I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
