Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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