dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
