ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
