I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
