Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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