i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
