Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
