I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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