Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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