dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize