Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
