One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
