I'm jealous of your bromance
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
