honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
