So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
