Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize