the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
