Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
