my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
