I look better un-naked...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
