dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize