Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize