i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i think my mom watched the whole time
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
