Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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