I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize