dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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