Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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