her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i think we sleep fucked last night...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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