this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
