I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
