I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize