All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
