i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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