tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
