i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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