seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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