If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
