so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
