non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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