i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
