If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
