Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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