On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
