At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
