At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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