How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
