I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
