for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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