we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
