so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
