I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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