why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
