I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
