i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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