i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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