I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
