he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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