So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
