Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
