careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
