What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
